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  • Writer's pictureAuthentic Armour

How to Stop People Pleasing

Using the Authentic Armour framework, you can empower yourself to stop people-pleasing and cultivate a sense of authenticity and self-worth. Here's how:


Self-Awareness: Start by becoming aware of your people-pleasing tendencies. Notice when you say yes to things out of obligation or fear of disappointing others. Recognize that people-pleasing often stems from a desire for external validation or a fear of rejection.


Honour Your Values: Identify your core values and priorities in life. Align your actions and decisions with these values, rather than seeking approval or acceptance from others. Remind yourself that it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.


Set Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Learn to say no assertively and without guilt when a request or demand doesn't align with your priorities or values. Remember that setting boundaries is a form of self-care, not selfishness.


Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and compassionate toward yourself, especially when you feel the urge to people-please. Acknowledge that it's normal to struggle with this behaviour and that change takes time. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer to a friend.


Challenge Negative Beliefs: Examine any underlying beliefs or fears that drive your people-pleasing behaviour. Challenge distorted thoughts such as "I have to please everyone to be liked" or "Saying no will make me a bad person." Replace these beliefs with more realistic and empowering ones.


Embrace Authenticity: Embrace your authentic self and trust that you are enough just as you are. Let go of the need to seek approval or validation from others and focus on living in alignment with your true values and desires. Remember that authenticity is magnetic and inspires genuine connections with others.


Practice Assertiveness: Develop assertiveness skills to communicate your needs, preferences, and boundaries effectively. Use "I" statements to express yourself assertively while respecting the perspectives of others. Remember that asserting yourself doesn't mean being aggressive or confrontational; it means advocating for your own needs with confidence and respect.


Celebrate Progress: Celebrate your progress in overcoming people-pleasing behaviours, no matter how small. Recognize and acknowledge your efforts to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and honour your authenticity. Each step you take toward reclaiming your power is a victory worth celebrating.


By integrating these principles into your life using the Authentic Armour framework, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and cultivate a greater sense of self-confidence, authenticity, and empowerment. Trust in your ability to prioritize your own well-being and live a life aligned with your true values and aspirations.


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